how was bruno mars? :D

Of course it was good. The concert part wasn't even totally amazing, it was just nice to get dressed up and do something fun on Maui for once. Also chillin' with my bestie and taking my little cousin to her first concert was the best. <3 I also, tripped down a stair and tricked the MACC ticket lady into letting Richelle sit by me. She wasn't very happy and told me to turn off my BlackBerry later cause the flash. OH WELL. (:
I enjoyed. Wish you coulda came still.

Ask me whateva you like.

why are you such an old lady ? :) <3

Awwwh, because little whipper snappers like you say so. <3 (;

Ask me whateva you like.

I'm feeling a lot better today.

I'm sitting in class right now not even paying attention because I don't even have to take the final that she is reviewing for right now. I'm only here to be marked in attendence. Its very boring and slightly irritating since our school's internet isn't working on my laptop when it was one hour ago.

I'm thinking I'm going to write at least one post on my blogger a day.
Glad to be back, guys. (:

Personal.

I don't feel like this is something I can post on my tumblr in detail and I know blogger would be a safer place for it.

I have not cried this much in a while.

My grandpa has throat cancer and was given a 20% chance of survival about 2 months ago.

He has being doing daily radiation treatments and has had 2 chemotherapy sessions and has another one this coming Monday.

Tonight he asked me to help him wipe his medicine of his throat. When I was doing it I noticed his skin was peeling off from the radiation burning his throat. I start freaking out about it and he assures me that is what he wants me to do (to peel it off) because its bothering him. He is now bleeding, raw, and red. I almost can't do it because I'm freaking out to much but I know that he needs me to. I pretty much let my grandma do most of it.

I am texting my friend during this, I'm shaking, I'm close to tears. I refuse to cry in front of either of them.

I hide out in my hiding spot in the guest room that is practically disconnected from the rest of the house, start crying, shake more and decide to call my old best friend who I'm no longer friends with.

I apologize to her for whatever our stupid fight was about, tell her even though I don't think it was my fault I want it to be over with, I want to move on, but I still don't think I can be her friend. She tells me thank you for being the bigger person as always and that she's sorry for what is happening with my grandpa. We hang up.

I end up calling my friend I was originally texting. We talk for a good 2 hours. I thank god for having a great friend like her to help me through something so harsh.

I never broke down like this since before we even found out he had cancer. I was the strong one. Now I feel weak.

(Sorry for the major rambling. My heads a little messy right now.)

Tumblr just died so I decided to come back to Blogger.

So I come back, log in and realize I only have 13 followers on blogger. Some of which probably don't even post anymore or even read my blog anymore since I don't ever post.

This makes me very sad. I have 200 followers on tumblr.

Ugh, blogger you make me sad.

Would you rather miss out on life or go through it unhappy?

Miss out. No point in doing something you're unhappy with.
Its like going out with someone you don't love or aren't happy with, not worth it.

Ask me whateva you like.

formspring.me

Ask me whateva you like. http://formspring.me/kaulani

Would you rather eat a whole cake in one sitting by yourself or run 20 miles non-stop? ...yes, ONE SITTING -- not days & RUN -- not walk.

Eating a whole cake would be easier but I'm up for the challenge of doing the run. I actually like to run. (:

Plus I'd need to run after eating a whole cake, as well as the fact I'd probably puke after that much sweets!

Ask me whateva you like.

formspring.me

Ask me whateva you like. http://formspring.me/kaulani

ur a bitch.

Mmhm. Thanks for your opinion.
It'd be more valid if you showed your real face. (:

Ask me whateva you like.

what if i kissed you right now ?

Um, I'd probably punch you. So I wouldn't recommend it. (;

Ask me whateva you like.

So, obviously I lie and am probably not coming back.

I think tumblr is jus a little more twittery. Doesn't really take much thought. Post 3 words and it's a great post sometimes. But srsly tumblr is like lazy people blogging, with reblogging & liking & connecting to fb. I'm sorry blogger I give up.

But anyways if you do have a tumblr, comment me your url so I can check it out. (:

Or check mine out: 4theboyz.tumblr.com

I miss...

my Blogger blog and the good things I use to write on here.

I need to get it back.

I'm lost.

School is starting soon.

I'm not ready.

Please don't eat me alive.

So I finally heard back from Polyphony HS...

about this piece. I'm not sure if I posted it here before but I'm not gonna go searching through my history so here it is again.

A One Man Audience

The sun has set and the moon and stars have taken their place in the dark night sky. I lay cuddled in bed with blankets and close my eyes to drift off to sleep. As I drift away a whole new world opens up to me. From the black vastness comes light filled with magical stories of sparkling vampires, spell casting wizards and trips across the sea. The sights that fill my head rarely remain the same, each time I close my eyes a new experience awaits me. Tonight I am a princess in a land far away ruled by my father to be handed down to me, while other nights have not been so sweet. My head filled with scary thoughts of fire breathing dragons or being swallowed whole by giant fish of the sea but in the end the dreams are just dreams and the next morning I am always set free. I open my eyes and stretch from my position to the sound of my beeping alarm. Now the moon has set and the stars have gone, the sun is out and today is another day to be awake and breathing.

So apparently it was "a little cliché, has great potential," and obviously I made lots of grammar mistakes because I'm the bad grammar queen and they said a bunch of other stuff but I'll leave that out. They said I should revise and send it back in. Not sure if I'm gonna do it, but if any of you out there have any more comments let meh know. Cause I like improving on my writing even if it's not for a booky thing.

Love from bloggy land,

Ka'u

So I've just decided...

That I’m completely in LOVE with Anthropologie. (: The only thing I’m not in love with about them is their prices. FML. Well and a lot of their stuff is made for chics with a job where you gotta dress a certain way and some of the prints suck. BUT their panties are the cutest and they have some real nice jewelry. (:

I just ordered some cute stuff from there but stopped myself at a $50 limit. I went a tiny bit over, but not much. I got three things. (: I’m excited. 5 - 7 business days couldn’t come soon enough. LOL!

Go check it out! :D

Lahaina Adventurersssss.

Sorta. Today I took my grandpa's friend's kid and his girlfriend around Maui. Cause their visiting and never been here. I mean like who hasn't been to Maui?! Okay, lots of people, but my point still remains. Haha. Anddddd so we went shopping in Lahaina. Went to eat in Waikapu where I work. Went to Foodland to buy sunscreen so the whiteys (; don't burn then went to Secrets for a beach cruise sesh. Then went to watch Dinner for Shmuks. Which by the way was a bad ass movie. Best part? The part where this guy was all "And Morgan Freeman came." And this little boy in the movie theatre asks loudly "Who's Morgan Freeman?" and the whole theatre (which didn't have many people) laughs loudly. It was jus cute. My papa and me made Laulau for the visitors and some of his work friend people to come eat dinner. It was yuuuuuuummmmmy. Well I know this is a lame post about my day but I'm to tired to be a good writer.

NIGHT-A-ROONIE. (:

You idiot.

You make no sense to me. Srsly. Why would you post something practically saying “I’m having an abortion” on your tumblr. I don’t see the reasoning. I mean I don’t disagree with your choice cause obviously little miss high school you’re not ready for a kid but I don’t see why you need to inform everyone on the Internet about it. You say your not the kind of girl that’s gonna show it off in school, by that I’m guessing you meant your tummy with the baby bump, but what stuns me is you’ll plaster it all over the internet, for anyone who wants to read it, read it.

Were you looking for pity? For reassurance? Something, anything? Cause all those people on your tumblr sending you stuff saying not to feel guilty, that it was the best thing for you, for the baby, and that your strong for making that choice, well their wrong. You should feel guilty cause you didn’t even believe in abortions but the second it was an option for you you took it. Feel guilty more for being a hypocrite then for killing a helpless baby. You weren’t strong, you were weak, that was the easy way out. Anyone could make that choice. That choice lead to very little consequences unlike the latter, where you would have suffered more then no swimming, no baths and no exercise.

If that baby came in to your life you’d suffer. That’s a harsh thought you wrote about. An harsher one is that from that second an outsider could tell you weren’t ready to be a mom, you couldn’t handle it, and that you weren’t strong enough. You were selfish, thought of you and your love only, forgot for that second that the decision you made affected that child you created too. I’m happy for that kid though, although it will never get the chance to live a life, at least it didn’t have to live a life with unfit parents.

People make me sick. Especially super young idiots.

*It’s not that I’m against abortions or anything. I’m just against idiots who post shit like this online. Sorry about the major rantage. Had to get it out. Maybe I shouldn’t have posted it but oh well, it’s my thoughts and views and if someone decides to unfollow be because of them that’s fine with me.

Is it just me???

Or are shows like Jersey Shore fuckin ridiculous?! Don't be offended and unfollow me or anything, or actually it's kay. Do whatever you like. lol. I'm jus say I think that shows like Jersey Shore are totally unlegit like having a second season of Glee.

Testing, 1,2,3, Testing.

So I worked everyday this week and I'm working tomorrow, probably not Saturday and definitely not Sunday (thank god). Whatevers though, trying not to complain bcuzzzzz I like having money!! :D (Well who doesn't?) Anyways, when I was riding home with my uncle he asked if I had any plans...I realize that I don't do much of anything on work nights. lol. I'm such a LAMER! lol.

OH well. I guess I'll survive. It'll be a good thing for when school starts. I'm for real gonna get some bad ass grades this year. I NEED TOO! &&& I TOTALLY WILL! I really hope I can so I can get some freeee monayyy next year. Can't be dependent on my papa for the rest of my college life, I don't wanna be one of those kiddies. Schools not that expensive but still. One day I'll return the favor.

Alright, so this is my I-think-i'm-coming-back-to-blogger Test Post, hopefully you all enjoyed. Let me know cause if you don't like it I guess I'm jus wasting my time.

Internet Hugs,

Ka'u

Poll the masses...

or the small amount of people that follow this blog.

Anyways, I was thinking that I wanted to start blogging on here again but I wasn't sure if there was any point, I mean it's mostly for me but you people matter to, so if you want me to, or don't want me to or just wanna say something to me, please, PLEASE comment below.

Thank you. (:

Visit this place.

It's easier to reblog...
Tumblr.
http://4theboyz.tumblr.com/

Change?

I think I like tumblr better then blogger now. /:

Day 6

Day 6

Dear Stranger,

I saw you last night at the party. I wanted to say hi and laugh with you about the old times but instead I turned around and walked away. Hiding behind my friends in the process to avoid anything more then that first moment where our eyes met. I figured if I looked more then once it obligated me to go over there and say something and that definitely wasn’t about to happen. It’s sad to see that your a stranger to me now, we use to be such good friends.

Love,

A Sort-of Stranger

Day 4 & 5

Day 5

Dear Dreams,

I’m scared of you. I don’t know if I’m ready. Scratch that, I know I’m not ready. I’d like to see you blossom into the life I know you can be, dreams. But that is gonna take a lot of faith, something of which I don’t have much of. It’s also gonna take some money and I don’t have much of that either. One side of me feels like giving up, throwing you in the trash and getting some smaller dreams but the other side says go big or go home. And maybe home is where I belong. When it comes time for August we’ll see what choice I made. But for now please don’t give up on me, dreams. Your the only real support I have.

Love,

Dreamer

Day 4

Dear Sister,

I love you. Nothing you could ever do will make me stop loving you. We’ve had it hard, we’ve been through a lot. I need to thank you for all of it. Without you life would have been different, maybe easier since I wouldn’t have had to take care of you for most of our childhood but it would definitely have been a lot more boring and lonely.

Putting aside all our “sisterly” bickering we’ve always gotten along fine. Recently though, you’ve lost me. And yeah I’m putting all the blame on myself. I avoid you. I don’t like the way you live your life, the things you’re doing. We’ve never been the mushy type so I’ve never told you. I try to laugh it off with you but this is no laughing matter.

I know times have been tough, losing your dad and brother but you need to grow up and take on some responsibility, just like I did when we “lost” mom, but do it for yourself this time, not for me. You deserve a better life then the one you’re living and a better future then the one you’re building.

I’m going off to college soon and hopefully before then we get close again. But please for your own sake try in school this year, hang out with some better people, have fun but don’t party to much and stay out of any real trouble. Be good for your mom them, and be strong for them as well.

The world is tough and you’ve seen that it can take the best people down with it. Don’t allow it to. Remember, I’m always here when you need me. I love you.

Love,

Your Sister

Oh and hair cut today.

I hate my hair now!

Day 2 & Day 3.

Day 2

Dear Crush,

It’s invisible to you, no I do not mean I am invisible, I meant what I said, it is. I gave up trying to bring it to light for you. I wish I took that picture’s advice a long time ago. Now I don’t even care to.

Half heartedly,Miss. Almost Invisible

--------------------------------------------

Day 3

Dear Mom,

You left a while back and sometimes it makes me sad even though I act all tough about it. I’ve always said I hated you for what you did but your still my mom none the less. There is only one thing I’m certain of is that I don’t want to be like you. So just so you know, I’m going to college, and I’m gonna get a job and I’m going to try and stop hurting the people who love me most and lastly whatever relationship I chose to be in I’ll try my hardest to make it work, I’m not the gold digger you are.

Love,

Your Daughter

Dear Dad,

I know I’m a bitch to you and I make mistakes but so do you. I wish you’d just see things from my shoes. I’ve tried from yours. I know how hard it must be. I wouldn’t be surprised if I ruined your life too. I seem to do that a lot. Maybe the future holds better things but right now I’m not ready to talk to you.

Love,

Your Daughter

Day 1 & 100th post!

(Day 1 of the letter writing project, and my 100th post! Special for my BFF!)

Dear Best Friend,

I don’t know how to explain your importance in my life and it’s about time I’ve tried. So here it goes: Even though you suck at giving advice, most times, you are always there to listen to me. And I think that’s better then anybody’s advice. You’re supportive of me, even when I feel the need to do or say something stupid. I know I can count on you. You tell me straight up what you think and how you feel. I value our brutal honesty. It allows me to trust what you say. You treat me as your equal, not a lesser, in our friendship and treat me more like family then a friend. To be completely honest I don’t know what I’d do without you.

Recently there have been moments where I questioned my future plans and although my intentions were originally to go to a college in the mainland I’m glad I changed my mind. Sometimes I feel like I should just stay on Maui because I know how hard living in O’ahu and paying for school will be but I know that whatever difficulties I need to endure in O’ahu you will be there to support me, like you always do. I’m excited for O’ahu, and scared, but I know that with my best friend by my side O’ahu will at the very least be a wonderful adventure.

So here’s to all the old adventures we’ve had and to all the new ones to come as well. Thank you best friend, I’m glad I’ve met you and even happier to know that I have a best friend like you. (:

Love,

Your BFF ----------------------->

Alright, I'm back, I'm back!

And to start off the long break I've had I've decided to embark on a little writing adventure. Join me if you wish. Here's the deets.

You can either send it to them (anonymously or with your name) or keep them to yourself. On this day you write a letter to:

Day 1 — Your Best Friend

Day 2 — Your Crush

Day 3 — Your parents

Day 4 —Your sibling (or closest relative)

Day 5 — Your dreams

Day 6 — A stranger

Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush

Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend

Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet

Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to

Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to

Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain

Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you

Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from

Day 15 — The person you miss the most

Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country

Day 17 — Someone from your childhood

Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be

Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad

Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest

Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression

Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to

Day 23 — The last person you kissed

Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory

Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times

Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to

Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day

Day 28 — Someone that changed your life

Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to

Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

You can either send it to them (anonymously or personally) or keep them to yourself.

GOOD LUCK. Day 1 hopefully posted by tomorrow.

So if you didn't get the message yet...

I've been really busy. Busy enough to neglect my blog for so long.
Seriously though, it's excusable? I had graduation and my birthday. It's been a real hectic couple months.
I hope you bloggie people don't hate me. I promise I will come up with something more interesting then excuses. I would tell you about what I've been doing but it's to much to talk about. Maybe I'll pick one. We'll see. Be back ASAP!

Only the good die young...

So don't stop following me just cause I'm on sabbatical.
I'll be back SOON, I promise! (:

And this is why I'm gone.

<3

Happy Graduation Season Everyone!! :D

Cause Formspring told me so.

Formspring can tell you a lot of things. Who's dating whom. Why they're dating. Why the last couple broke up. How much of a whore someone is. How many people so and so had sex with. What color underwear they wore last weekend. Who still has their virginity. What's so and so's fave color, song, band, boy. WHATEVERS! Pretty much anything can be found out on formspring and it is usually all useless stuff. On top of all that the questioners can be hidden. Lucky buggers.

Anyways I know this is a lame start but I was trying to get to the point and got lost somewhere. Someone asked me today on FORMSPRING when am I gonna update my blog. Hm, I thought about it and was all "I posted something like two days ago." But then was like "But it sucked, so does it really count?" "OH well" I replied to myself. Hahahahaha. I'm a lame fuck.

But anyways I just came on to let everyone know that as soon as graduation is over next Saturday my blog will be good again. I mean I've seen everyone do this I-need-a-break-to-focus-on-the-real-world-not-BloggieLand thing and I always said I wasn't gonna do this but updating a blog actually takes work. More work then I'm willing to put in right now.

So with that, please don't leave me I only have 13 (well actually 14) of you. But I promise I'll be back if you promise not to leave. I'm needy. Ahahaha!

Great, like Frosted Flakes.

Today was good, pretty damn good.

If you are not my boyfriend or you would not like to lose your dinner IGNORE THIS PART.

Happy Birthday for the 8 millionth time baby. (: You're the bestest, no seriously. I hope I made your birthday as special as I could even from 4,000 miles away. Love you the mostest best friend**. (:

Gotta make him feel special somtimes but enough with the cutesy talk.

I had this Creative Writing thing tonight. It was pretty good. We read stuff to an audience of parents and friends. Maybe I'll post mine later, maybe I won't. It was long. I'll come up with something interesting to put up. Maybe my favorite piece from the class. I don't know. I would do it now but my laptop is tweaking so I can't. /: Hopefully I can get it all fixity, fixed soon so I can post something cooler then telling you about what I'm gonna post. (Oh, I'm so lame.) Oh and I'll post some pickys cause there were some being taken. (:

On a lamer note, some lame fucks keep calling me on restricted. What a surprise? Hmmm, anyways they're being really irritating and if I ever find out who it is, beware. No seriously. You're an irritating fuck who needs to grow up!!

Sorry for all the swearage. x.x

Anyways, it's to late for me to care about my blog or my language...so NIGHT!

**Best Friend #2 I promise, Britt.

I've noticed

I write less but it kind of got better or so I think.
Any comments?
Any ways, I'm real tired and have homework to catch up on.
I'll be back soon, I promise!

So Predictable.

Every blogger around is probably gonna write something about their mom or a mom like person, why they're the best (or worst) mother on earth or a time where they had to play mommy. Blah, blah, blah. So since Mother's Day is not my favorite holiday ever (don't get me wrong I'm not trying to be disrespectful to moms, I just have a crap one) I'm not gonna do that, I'm gonna write about me cause I'm so awesome.

This weekend was a good one, I'll post pictures later. If Tiffy ever gives them to me.

But it started off hanging with my Aunty Erin (who I guess is a mother-like figure in my life). We went out to dinner at this place called Cuatro, an Asian-Latin fusion restaurant. The food was pretty good, prices not bad, service SUCKED. The appetizers are actually the bestest I've ever had, haha. We ate some Spicy Ahi chip stuff, seriously go and buy it or go die. ;P I think our bill was about $100 for two people, with tip and drinks (not mine). Our server a man whose name I'll politely leave out, was shitty. I've had better service at McDonald's. (Seriously, putting the creamer in my coffee...awesome!)
- Strike 1 for the waiter was bringing warm Champagne, I mean seriously.
- Strike 2 he served a whole table (6 people) with cold Champagne before bringing my aunty a new cold glass when she asked for it.
- Strike 3 was being just a shitty waiter in general, he was slow and cocky, and when he saw someone he knew he totally just threw (and I mean threw!) our plate onto our table. WTF?! Only for this dumb guy to find out that my Aunty works for a hotel (because a friend came up to her, and he knew she worked at a hotel.) He gave them amazing service. I watched. Once he saw her say hi to us, he came and inquired about it only to find out she worked in the hotel biz too. Which is very important in HI, like majorly important. He gave us way better service after that. KISS ASS. Ugh.

The next day was Ray Ray's birthday party at the Pukalani Community Center. It was pretty damn fun, even if it was a 5th birthday party. We set up the party, screwed around all day, helped little kids play games and ghetto busted a pinata. It was a good party minus the semi-junk weather. Happy 5th Birthday Ray Boy. (:

I'm a boring soul.

My life has been extremly boring lately.

My school day schedule looks something like this:
5:15 am - Talk to boyfriend on phone
5:30 am - Get off phone and go back to sleep
5:45 am - Start motivating myself out of bed
5:55 - 57 - Get out of bed and go brush teeth, wash face, etc.
6:10 - Eat breakfast
6:20 - Lie around on coach until forced to get into car
6:45 - Wait at bus stop
7:00 - Leave bus stop
7:30 - 40 - Arrive at school, walk with Chaysen & Britt to class or maybe get snack
7:45 - 2:30 - In school
2:45 - 3:30 - Bus ride home
3:30 - 4:30 - Drive home/run errands
4:45 - Lie on couch, watch tv, be a lazy bum, check facebook, talk on phone to boyfriend
Continue lying on couch, watching tv, being lazy, checking facebook and talking on phone, add in a shower and dinner
10ish - Sleep

Seriously, what a life. This has only started recently (well for a few weeks now) I hope that soon I'll throw this stupid lazy person schedule away and get my life back. UGH.

Oh Captain, my Captain.

Karpe Diem.
SERIOUSLY...I love that saying.

I've been working on a lot of stuff for college lately. I'm glad I've been a little productive even if I haven't been doing to much homework. I really can't wait till graduation though.

So I kind of fixed my computer, but I dunno. We'll see how long it lasts.

I wrote this in Creative Writing, it's called a Pantoum. It's called "Mistake" but that's just cause I wasn't feelin' to creative.

He made a mistake; he didn’t mean to hurt her.
He broke his own heart
What a terrible lesson to learn,
But that was just the start.

He broke his own heart
Tore it apart piece by piece
But that was just the start.
For he believed he was getting what he deserved.

Tore it apart piece by piece
He ripped his apology to shreds
For he believed he was getting what he deserved.
All good things must come to an end.

He ripped his apology to shreds
Instead he simply wrote a song.
All good things must come to an end
He said, although still clinging to belong.

Instead he simply wrote a song
What a terrible lesson to learn
He said, although still clinging to belong.
He made a mistake; he didn’t mean to hurt her.

If you figured it out pantoums repeat the same lines. Google it, it's a cool kind of poem to learn how to write, especially when it's something about a memory or the past. It kind of gives it this feeling that plays well with it. I'm not sure, maybe you feel it too.

So there is the post I promised last night. Be back soon. Shooties, bloggies. (;

Broken, broke-in.

My laptop has been broken lately and that's what I'll credit my lack of blog posts to. Also the intense amount of homework I've had that I of course waited till last minute to complete.

Blah, blah. Homework sucks, finals suck. We all know how that goes BUT seriously, only about 19 more days of school!! I'm stoked for school to end, not stoked for Project Grad but whatevers I'll live.

Well this is just about it for now, I think I'll have to put up another post later tonight for my lack of posting lately. So be lookin' out for it. Shooties for now.

So obviously

from my last post you see that I deserve the Nobel Peace Prize. Seriously, right?
Bah, whatevers. I had a bad day.

Today isn't anything special but this week feels crazy. I'm overwhelmed. To much stuff to do but to much of my best skills getting in my way. What are those you may ask?
1) Laziness
2) Superproprocrastination-ness (And that is totally a word!)
A shiz load of homework and projects and papers to be done and college stuff to prepare but so much NCIS to be watched and zzzzleeep to be had Seriously? How do my teachers expect me to do any of this while I have such a packed schedule of nothingness, I mean awesomeness.

Well I'm sure blogging isn't helping my busy situation either but there's always time for blogging. Wow, what a life I live. I can't wait to fail college. YAY me.

And I wish you all luck since you're surely in the same perdicament as me. And I'm out, night.

Go stick your head in the ground.

Seriously, I can't stand you. Don't bother me, EVER.

The end.

Act Like A Lady

Think Like A Man by Steve Harvey.It's a good book. You should check it out. Especially if you're not in a relationship yet and you're looking for one or you're in a new(ish) one. Actually I think anyone should read it but especially those people.

It talks a lot about relationships and guys secrets. Which you know any girl over the age of 15 wants to know. lol. But the 90 day rule and the 5 questions are two things I think that were the most useful things that I've read so far but I've only made it to Chapter 12.

Well go out and buy it or borrow it or whatevers.
Bye, bye Bloggies. Have a nice weekend.

I hate, hate, hate...

planning for college, and money.
They suck, suck, suck.

Yeah, I'm such a positive person I know.
Everyone hates me cause of it.

I'd like to thank the academy...

Actually I'd rather thank Safiaaa from Thinkers Reverie for giving me the Honest Scrap Award. :D


I stole this from her blog to describe it for you all:
The Honest Scrap Award is "for bloggers who put their heart on display as they write from the depths of their soul." You write 10 honest things about yourself that are not common knowledge and then you pass it on to 6 fellow bloggers that touch your heart by the honesty and sincerity they give with each post.

And lucky me got chosen. (; Safiaaa did say that I write about life in ways that she thinks anyone could relate to. I told this to le boyfriend and he says he agrees. So I'm guessing it must be true.

Speaking of true, one of the things required of me after receiving this award is to write 10 truthful things about myself that aren't common knowledge so here it goes.

1. I have issues with numbers. I hate odd numbers or numbers that aren't flat. By that I mean numbers that aren't 5, 10, 100 or stuff like that. I hate the numbers 27 and 56. My favorite number is 8.
2. I'm the messiest OCD person ever. Only certain things will "trigger" the OCD in me. Things like if my fingernails are different sizes, if my fingers aren't cracked, if the size of my writing changes on the same paper, if things aren't lined up nicely. And more.
3. I'm a mother bear. I'm nurturing when I see someone needs help but I don't like to be nurturing in my relationships with boys or close friendships.
4. I'm an off and on runner. Right now I'm off. I really like to run but it's to hard to do it up here where I live in Waihe'e. The air is so cold is burns my throat. :( I'll get it back though.
5. I'm almost anti-American food. I don't really eat much hamburgers, pizza or regular hot dogs. I do like "Hawaiian hot dogs" though, the red kine.
6. When I was little I was a vegetarian except for I would eat chicken nuggets. Which are still my favorite food till this day.
7. I like little kid stuff, like painting pictures, playing with play-doh and still watch some of the tv shows. I think this has a lot to do with babysitting so much.
8. My favorite candy is Resse's. I love chocolate. :D
9. I hate applying for scholarships and have been putting off filling out the papers and getting my recommendations for a LONG time.
10. I wanna be one of those parents that fills out that baby book almost religiously one day.

And lastly I need to nominate 6 (6? What a weird number) other bloggers to receive this award. I'm guessing that I can't give it back to the person who gave it to me which makes me sad since she would have been one of my 6. Oh I'll just have to work harder now. GREAT. (; Anyways, I would have nominated her since she writes about life really well in a way that I know many people can relate to. Her stuff is deep sometimes too. It's good so even though I'm not nominating her, check her out.

1. She already got it but you can have it again cause I am giving myself carte blanche. So, here's to Allie. (: I love a lot of the stuff she writes. Mostly she writes poems and they always either 1) touch my heart (cause I'm so like that) or 2) relate them to my own life.

2. The next award is for Alia. She writes things I love to read. She once wrote something along the lines of this: Life can be complicated but it can be simple. Truest story ever told (about life at least).

3. Next I pick Margaret from Finding Neverland. I love the title of her blog first and foremost, cause a lot of people spend so much time trying to stay young when growing up is just part of life. (I'm not even sure if that's what she meant by it but that's how I'm interpreting it.) But I chose her because she writes about the normal day to day things like family and freedom. Stuff I enjoy reading about.

4. Shelby love, one of my friendy friends from school is next. I chose her since her writing is straight up. She writes about whatevers going on in her life, she puts all her opinions in there and doesn't really hold back. She (well to me) is not really the kind of person to care about offending others to much. You may not like her opinions but she'll give um to you. Which is why I like her blog.

5. Rachel at Kiss the Rain because she writes about everything and anything she does or feels. She puts lots of quotes on her blog that sometimes I like to "borrow". Thank you. (;

And yeah, I know that's only 5 but if you were paying attention I don't like numbers like 6. It's so off. So blah if you don't like it, I could care less. lol.

It's always good to see life through someone else's eyes. That's what blogs do for me. And that's why each of these bloggers get this award. So once you get it make sure you pass it on.

Silly Rabbit,

learn how to steal the damn Trix already. Blah.

Anyways, I stayed up so late last night and was so tired today everyone told me I looked sick. :( Well, I did feel sick but put that to the side. I ended up sleeping right through my math class. GREAT. Now I gotta copy notes and homework before the next class! /: OH JOY.

I know i haven't posted much but this weekend shall be one for a cool post. I'm going to Maui High's Sophomore Banquet with Brandy. :D Yeah, I know I'm a senior at Kamehameha, my papa was confused as well. Don't be. Brandy just loves me and is taking me as her guest. So I bought a dress and new slippers last night. So cute.

Pictures soon!

Love yah lot's Bloggies.
Have a good Friday!! :D

Hold your Tongue.

Cause god knows whatever your about to say is probably pretty damn stupid!

Hah, Today I, what I'm sure Ekela will describe to half the world as "invaded" Drama kid territory, well their lunch table. And that in our school is enough to start a riot. It was incredibly dumb because of course Ekela is going to TRY and make me feel uncomfertable. Emphasis on try because I'm better then that and nothing he attempted to say or do even had any effect on me. NONE whatsoever. All his comments we're pretty dumb, and he did attempt many, many times. So I'll give him some props for the attempt and for persuing it even though I didn't care. The worst thing about it really was the fact that Ekela in all his attempts to make me uncomfertable and unhappy enough to leave the table actually got all sour and made himself have a shitty time.

So what does this teach you kids? I dunno actually, I was thinking something along the lines of even when somethings bothering you don't let it ruin your day or time or whatevers. (I gotta think that one through a little more. Help me out? lol.) Cause who knows, today might have been 10X better for him (and everyone else at the table who he thinks he has control of) if he'd dropped it and at least been civil. But then again, that's not his style. Whatevers though, High School 'drama b' like that is something I could care less about by now. Side note: About 38 days till graduation!!

And I'm sure a few of you are like "jdslfjsdifje, she's crazy, what if that boy reads this!" I kind of hope he does. I could really care less if he gets mad. We're such good friends still anyways. Ahahahahaha.

Anyways, have a good day all. (:

I need more sleep.

I'm tired but can't sleep.
Why does my body have to fight the one thing that keeps me sane?
Alive?
sdfljldsjflsd.
It's bullshit.
My body hates me. :(

Pro Procrastinator.

Seriously. lol. I have so much college stuff to take care of, important stuff, stuff I've been pushing off to the side. Like scholarships, housing, and student loans. OH to much work. Blah, blah. I'll get it all done on time. I always do.

But this post isn't really about my awesome procrastinating skills. It's more of a I-better-post-something-before-there's-a-riot post. Just kidding. But seriously. I haven't been posting much, even though I got more followers. (Shouldn't I be posting more?! Oh whatevers.)

Nothin' much has changed. Does it ever? NO. Well I did find out that I'm gonna go to Maui High's Sophomore Banquet with Brandy them. So that should be fun. Now I just have to go buy a dress. And that should be more fun, well if someone wants to give me money, if not, it'll be lame. Ahahaha. I'm so broke. I hate it. OH well, I gave up tons of hours I coulda worked and passed on. Damnit, I'm smart. I'll figure it out.l

And since I have nothing real special to talk about, except for that school is coming to a close in about two months (Which I'm extremely excited for!!) or that this weekend is Easter and I love Easter only for the candy and the egg sandwiches (And no, that's not a joke.) I found this picture for you to look at, laugh at, or whatever. Damn, that was one longgggg run on sentence. Ahahahha, no wonder I didn't take Mrs. Haina's class! I woulda failed that "Perfect Essay." x.x

Yummm, chocolate bunnies. (:

So if you're an Easter-er, Happy Easter and if not, just enjoy this long weekend. (: I know I will or I'll try at least. Shooties.

Load the Revolver.

Each mistake a bullet
And my gun's fully loaded
My mistakes holding me captive
I try to forget them, and put the past away
But glimpses from the past remind me of my flaws
Banding me like a scarlet letter pinned to my chest
Like scars on my soul, ones that are only visible to me
I relive the pain everyday and now I live for it
I live for the pain each day brings me, for I've accepted my fate
Pain has become my drug of life, taking it in hit after hit
For every one of my mistakes haunts me
And the harsh reality is the more I try and let go the tighter my grip gets
Each mistake a layer of myself, I try to peel away
But instead it feeds on me like prey
Tearing me apart with its vicious fangs
Each of my mistakes a wolf in the pack
Or a bullet in the gun
Either one ready to take me away
But I won't let them, I won't give up that easy
I'll face my mistakes head on and wipe my slate clean
'Cause when I wake up each morning I'll be renewed
Freed from the chains of my mistakes
Ready for the new beginning brought by the new day.

Parody, shmarody.

Parody to Drake's "Best I Ever Had" video, which sucked. Check it out on YouTube for yourself if you don't believe me but you mine as well take my word for it. Actually you should watch it cause the parody will make more sense, but anyways here it is for your enjoyment.



I pretty much spent half of my day watching YouTube vidoes. I need a life. Someone save me!!

The Silver Lining.

Is there one? Cause I don't fuckin' see it.

Many of the things I've learned in my short life:
- Grow up, and get over it.
- Don't run away from your problems, man up and face them!
- Don't protect those who don't deserve it.
- Don't let anyone force you (or force yourself) to grow up faster then you need to.
- Never go back to the bullshit that you probably left for a good reason in the first place. Or the people you left.
- The bad memories are the hardest to forget.
- Be stronger then those who THINK they can harm you; physically, mentally, however.
- If you want something done (or done right) do it YOURSELF!
- Don't trust anyone, because no one is trustworthy.
- Don't sell yourself short, you probably deserve better.
- If you're unhappy step up and do something about it.
- Never give your heart away unless you want it back in pieces.

FUCK liars!

So today was pretty good, then pretty shitty, then good, then shitty. I'm a big ball of fuckin' emotion today. So funny how I said I wouldn't be posting anything after this morning but I posted like 3 things today.

Without you, temporarily. *Updated!!

I lied, I am posting something else today. This song that I found thanks to Safiaaaaa at Thinkers Reverie.



"Every night I remember that event the way you looked when you said you were leaving... And I'm a little bit lost without you, and I'm a bloody big mess inside, and I'm a little bit lost without you."

He left on a plane to Florida this morning. We said our goodbyes last night. He doesn't know when he'll be back but it'll be a while. I already miss you and you haven't even been gone 24 hours. :(

But yay for best friends and cheer up seshs that really don't include doing much but chillin' at the house. Still, she's awesome.

And this song because Britt. Who is not only my best friend but a blog writer at this place. (:

FL is a happiness theif.

He's leaving on a plane right now. I'm sad.
That's all I'll be posting today.

"When she walks outside she brightens up the day. Oh boy she don't play around. She took me all the way." - B.D.

Promises, promises.

So, here is that picture I promised you. Which is surprising since I have problems with keeping promises.

Nothin' special, it was just a picture in the car on our way back home. I wasn't smiling and I realize what a junk picture this is now. So I'll counteract it with this one...

Left to right : Brittney, me, Brandy and Richelle

This ones from one night during Spring Break. A interesting night that no one probably expected to go so well.

Hashhhhh.

Alright, so like I said in my last post two days ago, I'm sorry for the lack of regularity in my posting. I'll get back on track.

Today I spent the day with the people I love most in this world, the Badayos' 'Ohana and my boyfriend. (: They make me very happy and I enjoyed my day. We went to the beach and just enjoyed ourselves. I didn't do much suntanning because I'm already pretty burnt and starting to peel. I'll post the one picture I took later because I'm on my phone right now and can't pix message it while I'm on a phone call. Damn, I need an iPhone. lol. We pretty much spent the whole day talking about crazy things that you only talk about with Brittney (well pretty much) and eating lots and lots of good food. Cause Aunty Cyn isn't gonna let you be anywhere near anorexic near her. lol. Uncle Gil went picking Ogo and gave me lots to take home to my uncle, we'll see what he makes of it tomorrow.

I have a bad habit of using crappy transitions like "anyways" or "moving on," I need to work on that.

It's pretty late on Sunday night right now, almost Monday morning. That doesn't leave much time till my boyfriend leaves on a three month vacation. :( :( :( Im'ma miss that kid, lots. "Ur really the only logical choice." Oh how I hate that txt speak he uses, I try not to use it. Although I do use certain vernacular in my txt messaging, but it's just to get my feelings across correctly. It's really easy to misinterpret things in a txt message and using certain vernacular helps solve that problem a little bit. I much prefer a phone call but I also prefer to keep my bill low, so with unlimited txting sometimes it's better to just txt.

But I'm totally going off topic, I brought up his txt because he told me I was a logical choice for him. I frown at his choice of words. I don't believe love is very logical, actually I believe logic really doesn't have much to do with love. Enough talk of love and logic though. I really just wanna talk about how long 3 months sounds and how sad I'll be to not have him around all the time even if he does irritate me sometimes and infuriate me at others. Most times we do get along well.

Sad, sad, sad. I don't want to be sad. I'm actually pretty excited for his trip. Hope you come back clear headed and ready for the future deary. Speaking of the future, I'm very, very excited for mine. In about two months I will be a high school graduate of the class of 2010 and two months after that I'll be an entering freshmen at UH Manoa. What could be more exciting then moving to a new island and becoming a little more independent. NOTHING I say. Or nothing I've experienced quite yet, I've got lot's of living to do though.

Oh, an update from my other post, I did end up trying a Dark Cherry Mocha Frap at Starbucks with Brittney. I actually really, really liked it and I feel like a fatty for reviewing a Starbucks drink that's probably like three meals worth in calories but oh well.

It's getting late, my laptop is going to die soon so this is the end. Have a great Monday everyone doing whatever it is you do on Mondays. As for me, I'm still on Spring Break and I'll still be waking up early to go to "work" and then to my grandma's house. Oh what a joy. Hopefully I'll see my fave boy tomorrow before he gets ready for his little odyssey. And hopefully this sunburnpeelingness goes away very, very quickly.

P.S. Yay, I now have 11 followers. (: (: (:

Yes, I know.

I've been slacking majorly in the bloggin' and I've really can't say I'm all that busy. I just don't have much to write about these days. So hopefully this isn't super duper lame.

I've gone to the beach for three days in a row, it is soooo nice. Everyday is a sweeter day then the one before. Except for the sunburn, that's horrendous. I've been spending A LOT (like all of those three days) with my boyfriend at the beach since he'll be leaving for Florida on Tuesday for a two month long trip. :( :( :( It kinda sucks but it's kinda good. Moving on though because thinking about it makes me sadish.

I've been kinda baby sitting my cousin all week (Spring Break dontcha' know?). It's kind of sucked. She's irritating, slightly and she won't let me have 5 seconds to myself. Ahhhh, I just about killed the child when she misbehaved all day then made me buy her shave ice. Whatevers though, like you wanna read all this complaining.

LOCAL BOYS SHAVE ICE!! (: Yummmm. Yesterday I got some, all red raspberry with Kauai cream. Yum, yum, yum, yum!! I love Local Boys. lol. If you ever come to Maui (for those of you who don't live here) you've gotta try it. You'll love it. I'm gonna miss it when I go to O'ahu this summer.

Oh summer. I'm kind of excited in a scared way for that. It's getting so close which means graduation is getting so close, which means college is getting so close. Oh I could go on forever. lol. But I'll stop there. I've got a lot of planning to do still. I haven't done much. Only sent in my intent to register with my check. I haven't filled out any other finicial aid or housing or anything. I'm majorily falling behind and it'll cause so much stress in the near future. WHATEVER though, I need to enjoy myself for a little while. I've been way to strung out for way to long.

Hope this was worth reading, I'll be back soon. I promise.

Excuses, excuses.

I know you don't wanna hear them buuuuuuuuuuut here it is. I did not go through with my promise post of whatever I got because I'm lazy, I won't even lie. That's the only reason. We'll pretty much.

Moving on.

This weekend was a doosy and I won't even go in to it but if I did it'd probably be the best Anti-Teenage-Drinking (maybe, even anti-drinking period) ad ever created. EVER. The rest of the BBQ (before I became covered in puke, yes, I did say puke) was pretty sweet. Shebs mom made awesome food and we all were just enjoying ourselves. I hope we got some good pictures from that night, I'll be looking forward to seeing those. (P.S. Thanks Shelb!! Have fun in Cali!)

Today I took my lil cuz down to Tutti Frutti to go get some Fro-Yo. It was yummy of course but it was slightly ruined by the rude man that walked in with his son not to much later. I hate people who are rude in public especially around young children. Do you really think that your child won't immitate you? REALLY? You idiot. I could raise a child a bit better then you and I'm 17. I'm so irritated with rude people. Pet peeve much.

On a happier note I'm excited to go to the beach tomorrow. I love Kihei, I love the beach and (sometimes) I love the sun. (: So all that love = excitement. Maybe I'll even take pictures, because my blogs been lackin in the photography department.

Two more things and I'm out. 1. Starbucks has a new drink: Dark Cherry Mocha. I was gonna try it today but I'm one of those people that eat,drink,buy,w/e the same things over and over and over again till I about puke so I stuck with the Iced Chai but I'd like to try this. The barista said it was good, but I'm still unsure. Let me know if you try it!! (: And 2. You can still send requests (or comment them) because I want more. lol. Thanks!



So Spring Break is starting out pretty well if I do say so myself. I hope you're all enjoying yourselves as well!! (:

Followers Shmollers.

OH MY GOD.
Yay. (:
I have one new follower, bringing my total up to 9. I'm not trying to be a followerwhore (or maybe I am, I liked to be noticed) but I'm excited because of it. My face was like this --> :DDD when I saw the "9 Followers" on my dashboard after logging in only hours ago and still seeing that "8". Kind of a pathetic number when you think about it. I follow at least twice that number, maybe even three times. x.x
Well as a semi-new blogger I'm happy with that and hopefully it'll keep growing.
So this post is thanks to Elena. And I would normally try and link this post to her blog but I can't seem to figure out which one is hers since blogger will not let me get to her profile. Cause blogger kind of sucks. Shhhhh, don't tell them I said that. They might f*ck up my blog. lol. But I'm stuck. So here's to Elena my new follower (sorry no link, love), and to all my old ones as well. (:

Since I'm a broke teenager I figured a gift or a drawing was out of the question, for now, but I did decide I would give all my awesome followers the chance to either:
1. Ask me questions
2. Request a post about a certain something
3. Give me a writing prompt
OR
4. Whatever else you can come up with since I am in no way creative.

There you go and here's my email juskaulani@gmail.com or hit up the comment box if you'd rather. The best (or all since there won't be much I'm sure) will be posted on my blog. Since I kind of like to be organized let's make the deadline Sunday. So by Sunday send me your 1, 2s, 3s, or 4s and hopefully I'll have it up by Monday afternoon.

Oh and also, congratulate me for making it on to the "I Like That" Page in Creative Writing, well only if you'd like to. It's our way of honoring the best writer on a certain assignment. Here's the link, go check it out!! (:

Thanks, thanks and have a nice weekend all! (:

Happy ThursdayFriday!

You say you fight for what's closest to your heart but it doesn't seem like you're fighting for much. Don't underestimate your hearts desires.

^ Iron Jawed Angles inspired that. Kind of. Even if I thought the movie sucked. ^

Anyways, today is Friday, okay well it's Thursday but there is NO school tomorrow so today is like a Friday. On top of that it's the last ThursdayFridayThing before our 2 week Spring Break!! Stoked? Of course! (: I'm so stoked I've been counting down the hours (5 1/2 right now).

Don't got many plans for the break as of now. Kind of bummed I'm not going on Close-Up anymore, but oh well. A trip to DC was to expensive for a girl who got disowned (cough,cough) by her dad. So, a Staycation on Maui it is. Tomorrow's already a Brittney day because she's an idiot and didn't turn in her internship binder yet. Then Saturday, a friend is having a BYOB kind of party. That shall be fun. Then the 20th is saved for the Ali Campbell concert out in Lahaina. Other then that, I've got nothing planned but I know I'll be doing a lot of beach, mall and Swinging Bridges days. So, hit me up!! (:

While all the excitement of Spring Break has got me on my toes, I'm still feeling a little sick but DayQuil is really a life saver. Makes you pretty hyper since it's non-drowsy and I don't feel as sick as I did last night. Cause last night sucked, hardcore. DayQuil should so give me money for advertising for them, even if I only have 8 followers. I bet they google DayQuil constantly just toi see what's on the internet about them. Then they'll find my blog and be all "Wow, this girl mentioned us multiple times, let's give her lot's of money!" I'm not counting on that happening, but hey it was worth a shot.

Anyways, Happy ThursdayFriday!! (:

Droplets of Gold.

Her eyes speak silence, her lips speak lies.
The contradicting ideas you're receiving,
Your thoughts just there to please you.
You think what you want and it seizes you
Bringing fourth tears, like droplets of gold.
Unexpected realization that the end is no where near
No matter what you'll have to face the days to come,
Unless you chose otherwise.
And in that case, actions speak louder then words, my dear.

Love, love, love, love.

I use that word way to much. I love this. I love that. I love you. I love him. I kinda wish I could just strike it from my vocabulary and find a better way to explain my affection towards things. Love is just so easy, I can tell you I love you or I can tell you that you are the best thing that ever happened to me, that you make me so happy and make me feel so important. I prefer the latter.

It makes me wish I was still a little kid and that saying the word love didn't mean what it does now. Innocent and blissful. I miss feeling like that. Where everything made you happy and nothing really made you to upset. Where the biggest drama was who got to pick the TV show or who had to be out first for tag. Life is getting harder and my choices aren't making it any easier on me.

So what's am I saying? That I need to make better choices? Yeah, probably.

E-Z, P-Z, Lemon Squeezy.

"If I could take back every word I would and more fo sho. If I thought that you'd believe it." - My Place, Nelly

Sometimes I wish I had a redo button. (An easy button would be nice too but that's for another post.) I shouldn't have told you as much as I do. I wanna start over. Erase everything from the beginning and start over. Actually I don't but sometimes there are somethings I wish I held back. I'm sure you feel the same.

^ That was sitting in my drafts, so there you go. ^

Anyways, today's pretty lame for a Friday. Maybe it's because school is lame or I'm lame. Not quite sure, you can pick. Either way, I've been on weekend mode since Tuesday night and doing any work this block is not gonna happen whatsoever, hence this post. I'm kind of irritated with school already. It's getting way to close to the end. "About 2 1/2 months :( You can do it baby!" What a good boyfriend. (: My grades were real good (mind you I exclude my math class from that statement) up until recently. I've been slacking hard core and if Senioristis was a real disease I would have had a doctors appointment and a perscription by now. Hopefully none of my grades drop below A's. I like A's. I dislike B's when I know I can get better. As of yesterday I have 3 A's and 1 B. The B in economics. How lame since that is my best class. Math is still a dissapointment but it's up 2%. Is that any good? Not really, but it's a slight improvement and maybe if I keep slightly improving by next Friday I'll have at least a high enough grade to pass the class.

Enough about school because it depresses me. Today Tim Burton's new Alice in Wonderland movie comes out. And for those of you who don't already know, it's not the original remade like when Tim Burton remade Willy Wonka. This is a whole new story where Alice is about to get married and somehow (I haven't seen it so I don't know the details) goes back to Wonderland. I dislike Tim Burton movies, any one I'd ever seen. The Nightmare Before Christmas and the new Willy Wonka are two movies I won't watch by choice. So I'm debating whether or not I will succumb to seeing the Alice in Wonderland movie that was released in theatres today. This wasn't really suppose to be a review or anything but if you've got opinions my comment "box" is always open.

So I hope everyone's Friday is more enjoyable then mine has started.

Senioritis.

I've got a bad case of it, especially today.

I really didn't want to get out of bed this morning. I didn't want to dawn this uniform today. I didn't want to get in the car. or the bus. I didn't want to get off the bus. I didn't want to sing at song practice or watch the movie in first block. I didn't want to catch up on my missed work from not being in school yesterday. I didn't want to take that Econ quiz that I probably failed. (There goes my 'A'.) I don't want to start my Econ essay and I didn't want to finish my "dominant childhood impressions" essay, but that I did. Finished the essay, not started the other one. I don't want to read Chapter 2 of the Lili'uokalani book before 3rd block. And I really don't want to go to 4th block.

All I really wanted to do today was stay home sick, in my sweats, lay in Taylor's bed all day, watch TV and eat some ice cream to soothe my sore throat and maybe talk to my best friend and my boyfriend a little.

Today's not a good day.

Sweet talk me, baby.

'Cause you know I like it more then I'd like to admit. It makes me smile, giggle, get that "butterfly" feeling in my tummy and all those silly girl things you see in the movies. Call me love and perfect, and all those sweet nouns and adjectives you use, but if you do, please act like you mean it. You know I'll believe anything when it's coming from you. Oh baby, my love, you make me smile from the inside out with those sweet words. Oh, so sweet words.

"Baby, don't stop what you're doing 'cause I'm loving it."

Does me writing this make you wanna puke too?

If you really knew.

You think you know me but you really don't. Cause if you really knew me you'd know that I'm angry because I've been hurt. I hide behind mean words and snide remarks because they give me strength. Hurting you, hurts me but I can't help it.

If you really knew me you'd know why I can't smile as easily as you. You'd know that behind these brown eyes there are tears that I won't let out. And when I do, it won't be for a good reason, it'll be for your pity.

If you really knew me you'd know that negativity inhibits all of my being just like the flu; incasing me and throwing it at others as well. If you took the time to really get to know me you'd know I'm probably the saddest person you've ever met. But if you don't take the time you won't see it because that is what all my anger hides.

I put a wall between me and my feelings because that makes me feel less weak, more protected. It allows me to stand strong and front like not even Kryptonite can hurt me. I can make myself feel invincible but it's all a facade. I put up a wall between me and you because your getting to close, your going from thinking you know to knowing and that makes me feel vunerable. It makes me scared, you make me scared.

If you really knew me you'd know that I never let anyone get as close as I've let you get because the people closest to me are the ones who hurt me most.

Don't let it get to you, SABF.

Don't dwell on the unimportant things, don't let those things prey on your mind or weigh you down. Don't let anyone say or do anything to bring you down. Don't let them ruin your day or conquer your thoughts. Sometimes you need to be reminded not to let him get to you. Don't let him convince, persuade, dissuade or discourage you. Release them, release him, rid your mind.

"Don't let it bring you down
It's only castles burning,
Find someone who's turning
And you will come around."
- Neil Young

"Girl I know that things are hard now
And you're feeling that you're all alone
Dont Let it Get To You, No Baby
Girl I know you're fed up but things gonna get a lot better
Dont Let it Get To You, No Baby
Don't wanna see you give up, whatever you do, don't let up."
- Akon

You know I wrote this for you.
- Your SABF<3

Sonnets are hard to write,

hard to read, sometimes even hard to understand. But if you can understand this one you'd probably like it too.

Sonnet XIV by Elizabeth Barrett Browning

If thou must love me, let it be for nought
Except for love's sake only. Do not say
'I love her for her smile her look—her way
Of speaking gently, for a trick of thought
That falls in well with mine, and certes brought
A sense of pleasant ease on such a day'
For these things in themselves, Beloved, may
Be changed, or change for thee, and love, so wrought,
May be unwrought so. Neither love me for
Thine own dear pity's wiping my cheeks dry,
A creature might forget to weep, who bore
Thy comfort long, and lose thy love thereby!
But love me for love's sake, that evermore
Thou mayst love on, through love's eternity.

People say...

that the best things in life are free.
But are they really?

Even love comes with a price to pay,
Cause when you're in love there's bound to be pain.

With all the good in life there's still sorrow and
With all the today's you've had you're not always promised a tomorrow.

Happiness doesn't have a price tag you say,
But when you've got no money, you're struggling, livin' on the streets
How happy can you truly be?

I'm not tryin' to throw a negative vibe
It's honestly just something running through my mind.

Maybe it's 'cause I'm a broke a** teenager. lol. Not quite sure.

Any thoughts?

You don't even know

how much I wish I could take credit for this. Written by Robert J. Walsh, a friend of a friend's.

Never say I love you if you really don't care...
Never talk about feelings if they aren't really there...
Never hold my hand if your gonna break my heart...
Never say you are going to if you don't plan to start...
Never look into my eye's if all you do is lie...
Never say hi if you really mean goodbye...
If you really mean forever then say you will try...
Never say forever cause forever makes me cry...

Get low...

with Jungle Boogie. There dance on ABDC5 this week to "How Low" by Ludacris was soooo B.A.

Watch it here! (:

"ABDC 5" -- Jungle Boogie, Week 4 - Click here for more blooper videos

So good. New fave!!

Be happy for me.

I got into all three of the colleges I applied to. (:

The University of Hawai'i at Manoa, Hawai'i Pacific University & Menlo College of Business in Silcon Valley, CA.

I'll most likely be going to UH Manoa. We'll see though. I'm soooooo excited! (:

Testing 1,2,3.

I suck at taking tests. I'm about to fail my Economics test.
Well maybe. Maybe not.
I'm super pro in that class, and I mean super pro. Ask me a question. Any question. I'll probably get it right. Yeah, I know conceited. Whatevers. I work hard in that class and I'm smart when I'm interested, which I am. You could ask anyone in that class. I'm totally that annoying kid who knows everything, answers every question and wins a lot of the games we play.
I just suck at taking tests. I have horrible memorization skills and get nervous and everything that I do manage to remember goes right out of my brain. Blahdy, blahdy, blahhh!
Wish me luck or give me all knowing super powers. Either will do.

Collaboration.

The stars shine like teary eyes, a sight that might catch escaping moments, calling memories which send me into whirling torrents, swift and uncontrollable feelings leaving me weary. Vivid images quiet my thoughts, tying livid knots. Withholding scenes of my never ending dreams.

I'm not really sure if it's done but here it is anyways. I'll repost if it changes. This was a collaborative effort between me and my boyfriend through text message. Lame? I guess you could say so. He was bored, most likely. Anyways, go ahead and guess which color's mine?

It's all Hype. *Updated

My best friend is on Kaua'i and my boyfriend is in Kihei. Now where am I you ask? In Waihe'e. Home of the Wai Sai boyz, pigs, rain, hidden weed plants, and probably purple monkeys too. I hate being stuck up here!! So today has been filled with nothingness like tv watching and iPod playing. I've pretty much mastered Fireflies - Owl City on Tap Tap Revenge 2 and I've watched the reruns of ABDC5 about twice now.

Hype 5-O: My fave team for ABDC5

Oooh, ABDC5 is pretty prime.

Mario Sanchez. Has anyone listened to him emcee that show? Well you should. I've been wondering whether or not he prepares all his little lines before the show. He'll be all "We'll find out later if Heavy Impact can smash there way through Nationals." I don't think anyone can think of some many connected things to say in such a short amount of time. It must be rehearsed. When I'm bored my brain wonders about random things.

Also when I'm bored I go and read blogs. Random blogs. Anywhere I find them. About anything. As long as they catch my attention. Which is how I find most of the blogs I'm subscribed to like Allie's blog "Hyperbole and a Half." Which is totally worth checking out. It's one of the best on the net. So anyways, today I found this blog, "She" and on that blog I found this picture.Okay, so the picture quality sucked, here's a link instead. The picture made me think of Britt. So Britt, you better look at it! (: I was looking at the picture and noticed on the bottom left corner a website. Surviving the World. Daily Lessons in Science, Literature, Love and Life. So check it out.

Lastly, thanks to the writer of "She" I found this song. I'm a big fan of it as of like 23 minutes ago. I've listened to it about 123893 trillion times. Okay, over exaggeration MUCH but I listened to it about as many times as possible in 23 minutes.



I feel I put way to put information in this one post. Oh well to late now. Thanks for readin' till the end. Hope it was worth it.

formspring.me

Ask me whateva you like.
http://formspring.me/kaulani

Do it, do it, do it. (:

Ooooh, today is a rainy day. I kind of want to go play in it.
Kind of. I'm not really a rain person. We'll see. (:

Success ain't nothin' but a word.

You're sittin' there poutin' about how you've got
Nothin in your pockets but sand
Complain' about playing by the rules of "The Man"
Well hunny winners make the rules
And losers just have to live by them.

It's up to you which one you'll be
But I know where I'm fighting to be
I'm ready to be up at the top
One day I'll be successful you'll see
And when that day comes
You'll be begging to be me.

A Million Lies.

I could cough up a million and one lies
Before I tell you how I really feel
How you are the light of my life
And the sun in my sky.

I watch the words that spill from my lips
And make sure my secrets never escape
Little secrets of my love for you
Within each word I say
And even more in the ones I don't.

So baby forget all the games I play
I want to be with you forever
And although it may seem unrealistic
Forever means forever.

Ahhhhhh, I'm not a big V-day chic but, Happy (almost) Valentines Sweeets. (:

Word Vomit.

So I'm gonna try and force myself to write something. We'll see how it comes out.

Okay so attempt one failed. It was about clouds and sunshine. It so was lame I just deleted it.

Attempt 2, still about clouds and sunshine. It was a little more successful, but still not great.

Sometimes you're the sun
Shining light on my day
Sometimes you're the clouds
That rain on my parade.
And this is where I got stuck. So moving on.

Attempt 3 has nothing to do with clouds or sunshine. Maybe that was my problem. I'm not a very sunshiny person. It's better then the other two.

Only silence is present
Making even breathing sound to loud
There's so many things I'd like to say
So many things that need to be said
But those things just won't come out.

I don't like the quiet
I try and fill the void
With my wordless thoughts
And thoughtless words
Words so sharp they hurt.

Don't take me seriously
No one who knows me would
Everything that's important is stuck
Stuck up in my head
Not flowing from my mouth like it should.

The words would never come out correct
And once there out that's it
I can't wish them back
Or erase them from your head
Once there out the truth has been said.

It's not always even the truth
Word Vomit is one of my worse qualities
I'm saying things I don't mean
And even if I do, don't believe me
I wouldn't believe me too.

'Cause lying is another quality of mine
One that I despise
It's gotten me no where good in life
I'd take it all back if I could
But once it's out it's out for good.

Which is why I'm a person of very few words
Although I speak so very often
Fair warning I'm giving you now
Don't listen to what I say
It's all just Word Vomit.

So I guess when I don't give up after two bad tries I may just end up writing something semi-good. It doesn't flow real well yet, but I'll fix. For now, comments appreciated.

I wish...

I wrote this. I l.o.v.e it!! So give it up to Safiaaaaa at Thinkers Reverie.

There are conversations in my mind
Things I wanted to say but never said
There are moments in my life
Things I could share but I keep in my head
Where it’s safe
I don’t know who I’m hiding from
Perhaps the world
Its billions of people scrutinising
Pointing fingers, making judgments
Taking stock
Perhaps you
Your uncanny ability to make me hurt
With one word, or no words
Your opinion matters
Or maybe I’m just hiding from myself
A girl inside a world inside her head
Wishing she was somewhere else instead
Hiding from her truth and the things she never said
Because let’s face it
Behind optimistic smiles
There’s a dead heart and regret
Behind laughing eyes
There’s a different story waiting to be told
Hidden in the multitude of holes
That make up who I am.

We Digress

"We Digress" is the class blog for Mrs. Haina's creative writing class. 4 Even baby! (: We just started it but there is some pretty good shiz on there already.

Ch-ch-check it out! (: And then bookmark that shiz, it's updated often. (:

http://blogs.ksbe.edu/kyhaina/

B*tches be buzzin'.

Drama is for bitches.
It sucks. You suck.
My life is my business.
Stay out!

"You can't tell me who I am cuz I'm working on that too. What's right for me just ain't right for you. Unless you're ready for your own judgment, don't do nothing before you judge yourself. You see me around and everything that I do...guess what dog - I've seen you too. But I don't judge how you live your life cuz I know we're all trying to get by. You see me around and everything that I do. Guess what dog? Jah seen you, too." - SOJA

This sh*ts for you. Read it. Remember it. Now build a fucking bridge and get over yourself because I don't care enough about you for anything you say to take an effect on me. Scratch that, I don't care about you at all.

This drama sh*t ain't worth my time.

"Cause the worlds a crazy place"

"and you're a lovely face." - The Shelf - B.D.

I don't know what is is but I really have nothing to write about lately. I'm sure most people wouldn't even care, but I care. I wanna know what kicked out all the inspiration in me to pick up a pen and write. Nowadays I pretty much force myself to do it. It's so lame. If any one's got anything for me to write about, that'd be pretty prime. Just comment. I mean if you feel like it.

What inspired you to write that song? Ughhh, that statement has been bugging me for quite a while now. Don't get it? You're really not suppose to I mean, unless you know the author of "The Shelf" which is probably a big fat NO. It's this good, sort of lovey song. It bugs that I really don't know why he wrote it. /: Jealousy thing? Very much so!

You wanna know what else is lame? Not living in Kihei. I hate not being able to go to the beach whenever I feel like it. Like today. I wanna go to the beach! Or at the very least get out of this house but that doesn't seem like it's going to happen. Although I do need to get my homework from Brittney. Oh blah, Kahului seems so far from here. /:

I guess I'm blog ranting today...oh phewy. I guess it's better to blog rant, 'cause no one actually has to read it. Alright I'm a lame-o and here is the lame post that clicking on your dashboard brought you.

Secrets.

In one of my classes we had to write this favorite place essay thing. I chose to write about Secrets, this beach I love in Kihei. I wrote one for class, and one for myself both about the same place but in two different perspectives.

In class: Secret beach in Kihei is my favorite place to be. Here I can see the little sand crabs scouring around like mice searching for food in the dark of the night. I can see my boyfriend as relaxed as a woman fresh out of the spa and the ocean as calm as a sleeping baby’s breathe during its afternoon nap. I can hear the continually flowing ocean, the muted voices of beach goers enjoying the peace and the whipping Kona winds of Kihei. I can feel his calloused but comfortingly warm fingers intertwined with mine, the small grainy sand and the cool, renewing water. While I lie in the sun and enjoy the company of my friends. I can see, I can hear, I can feel in my favorite place Secret beach in Kihei.

For the hell of it: Secrets at night is my favorite place to be. Here I can see the moonlight skies as dark as the very depths of the ocean. I can see the clouds drown out the stars like New York city lights. I can see the outline of his body as melodic as the sound of tap dancing rain. I can hear his reassuring voice, the force of the Kona winds moving the trees and the sound of the soothing ocean caressing the shoreline. I can feel the warmth he brings although the air is chilly and his hands calloused from playing guitar intertwined perfectly with mine. While I lie in the darkness under the dark, night sky. I can see, I can hear, I can feel in my favorite place Secrets at night.

It's all rubbish.

Chaysen, because he is so smart and pays attention in Psychology told me that if you hate something and you have to learn about something your mind will just throw it all away because you think it's unimportant.
This is how I feel about math!! I'm sitting in math today, it suckkkkks. I hate being in math. OH & my school blocked facebook so now I have less to do then a normal day.

This is a picture of Chaysen's notes, it's a diagram about listening and storing information.

Also, Chaysen brought Li Hing Mui popcorn to school today and it's yummmmmmy! (:

I realize now I really have nothing I wanna write about. So have a good day! Shoots!