I have not cried this much in a while.
My grandpa has throat cancer and was given a 20% chance of survival about 2 months ago.
He has being doing daily radiation treatments and has had 2 chemotherapy sessions and has another one this coming Monday.
Tonight he asked me to help him wipe his medicine of his throat. When I was doing it I noticed his skin was peeling off from the radiation burning his throat. I start freaking out about it and he assures me that is what he wants me to do (to peel it off) because its bothering him. He is now bleeding, raw, and red. I almost can't do it because I'm freaking out to much but I know that he needs me to. I pretty much let my grandma do most of it.
I am texting my friend during this, I'm shaking, I'm close to tears. I refuse to cry in front of either of them.
I hide out in my hiding spot in the guest room that is practically disconnected from the rest of the house, start crying, shake more and decide to call my old best friend who I'm no longer friends with.
I apologize to her for whatever our stupid fight was about, tell her even though I don't think it was my fault I want it to be over with, I want to move on, but I still don't think I can be her friend. She tells me thank you for being the bigger person as always and that she's sorry for what is happening with my grandpa. We hang up.
I end up calling my friend I was originally texting. We talk for a good 2 hours. I thank god for having a great friend like her to help me through something so harsh.
I never broke down like this since before we even found out he had cancer. I was the strong one. Now I feel weak.
(Sorry for the major rambling. My heads a little messy right now.)
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