"Cause the worlds a crazy place"

"and you're a lovely face." - The Shelf - B.D.

I don't know what is is but I really have nothing to write about lately. I'm sure most people wouldn't even care, but I care. I wanna know what kicked out all the inspiration in me to pick up a pen and write. Nowadays I pretty much force myself to do it. It's so lame. If any one's got anything for me to write about, that'd be pretty prime. Just comment. I mean if you feel like it.

What inspired you to write that song? Ughhh, that statement has been bugging me for quite a while now. Don't get it? You're really not suppose to I mean, unless you know the author of "The Shelf" which is probably a big fat NO. It's this good, sort of lovey song. It bugs that I really don't know why he wrote it. /: Jealousy thing? Very much so!

You wanna know what else is lame? Not living in Kihei. I hate not being able to go to the beach whenever I feel like it. Like today. I wanna go to the beach! Or at the very least get out of this house but that doesn't seem like it's going to happen. Although I do need to get my homework from Brittney. Oh blah, Kahului seems so far from here. /:

I guess I'm blog ranting today...oh phewy. I guess it's better to blog rant, 'cause no one actually has to read it. Alright I'm a lame-o and here is the lame post that clicking on your dashboard brought you.

Secrets.

In one of my classes we had to write this favorite place essay thing. I chose to write about Secrets, this beach I love in Kihei. I wrote one for class, and one for myself both about the same place but in two different perspectives.

In class: Secret beach in Kihei is my favorite place to be. Here I can see the little sand crabs scouring around like mice searching for food in the dark of the night. I can see my boyfriend as relaxed as a woman fresh out of the spa and the ocean as calm as a sleeping baby’s breathe during its afternoon nap. I can hear the continually flowing ocean, the muted voices of beach goers enjoying the peace and the whipping Kona winds of Kihei. I can feel his calloused but comfortingly warm fingers intertwined with mine, the small grainy sand and the cool, renewing water. While I lie in the sun and enjoy the company of my friends. I can see, I can hear, I can feel in my favorite place Secret beach in Kihei.

For the hell of it: Secrets at night is my favorite place to be. Here I can see the moonlight skies as dark as the very depths of the ocean. I can see the clouds drown out the stars like New York city lights. I can see the outline of his body as melodic as the sound of tap dancing rain. I can hear his reassuring voice, the force of the Kona winds moving the trees and the sound of the soothing ocean caressing the shoreline. I can feel the warmth he brings although the air is chilly and his hands calloused from playing guitar intertwined perfectly with mine. While I lie in the darkness under the dark, night sky. I can see, I can hear, I can feel in my favorite place Secrets at night.

It's all rubbish.

Chaysen, because he is so smart and pays attention in Psychology told me that if you hate something and you have to learn about something your mind will just throw it all away because you think it's unimportant.
This is how I feel about math!! I'm sitting in math today, it suckkkkks. I hate being in math. OH & my school blocked facebook so now I have less to do then a normal day.

This is a picture of Chaysen's notes, it's a diagram about listening and storing information.

Also, Chaysen brought Li Hing Mui popcorn to school today and it's yummmmmmy! (:

I realize now I really have nothing I wanna write about. So have a good day! Shoots!

Oh! The Places You'll Go!

You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And You are the guy who’ll decide where to go. You’ll look up and down streets. Look’em over with care. With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet, you’re too smart to go down a not-so-good street. You’ll head straight out of town. It’s opener there in the wide open air. You’ll be on your way up! You’ll be seeing great sights! You’ll join the high fliers who soar to high heights. Wherever you fly, you’ll be best of the best. Wherever you go, you will top all the rest. There is fun to be done! There are points to be scored. There are games to be won. You’ll be famous as famous can be. Step with care and great tact and remember that Life’s a Great Balancing Act. And will you succeed? Yes! You will, indeed! (98 and ¾ percent guaranteed.) Kid, you’ll move mountains! Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting. So…get on your way!

Dr. Seuss is ahhhhmazing!

**Oh! The Places You'll Go story with some edits.

Gotta get away sometimes.

So I've been staying in Waihe'e and seriously it's pretty calming. Waihe'e is just so chill. It's something about the air, about being so close to nature that makes you feel calm and everything is just so serene. I needed this little break from my hectic life. I think I'm gonna go up to the Valley today. My Aunty said that my Uncle Bengi writes all his music up in the Valley, so I might go up there today to go write or run, or both? We'll see what comes of it. If it's worth sharing I'll post it tomorrow.

Today I had another one of my "talks" with O'breezy and he suggests that I get off this island, out of this state. I'm not sure if I could do it considering my financial state but we'll see what happens. I love traveling and I am pretty sick of Maui but I don't know how I'd do up in the Mainland. I do agree with him a little. At the least I know I need to get off this island, and soon! I'm so ready to be out on my own. I've always been pretty strong willed and independent so much shouldn't change. If anything it'd be better for me.

My best friend is always excited for "the future," maybe considering leaving will get me a little more excited as well.

LIfe is...

well life.

It's confusing. It's hard. It's happy. It's sad. Life is a lot of thing and right now my life is spinning in about 10 million directions. I honestly need to go to Secrets, sit in the peace and quiet to think. To think, and write and maybe scribble and doodle. I just need some thinking time. Some time to let my thoughts actually make an impact on me instead of this pushing my thoughts away because "I'm to busy" or something else is "more important." Or maybe, I just don't wanna think about it.

This is my new pet, the crab. I can't remember what I named him but he lives at Secrets! (:

Thanks to O'breeeezy, I've got a few questions to ask myself. I've gotta start thinking about who and what is important to me. And out of those people are any of them not "good" for me.

I don't even know how to explain the fact that someone could be "not good" for me. How do you decide if someone is good for you or not. If they support you all the time? If they want the best for you? If they are willing to put your needs, wants, dreams, everything before there own?

I must not be good for a lot of people. But seriously, who can support someone all the time? What if what they're doing isn't what you want, or believe, or isn't good for themselves? Should you support them then? I want the best for people, but I also what the best for myself. What if those plans don't collide? What if they seperate us with the one we love, like, need? What then? Should one of you give up and let go? Should both of you comprimise?

I guess I really got a lot to think about!

There's this girl...

and she writes these amazing poems. I'm very jealous. I use to write good poems, I use to write a lot of good poems but now for some reason I don't. :( I wish I still could, I'm just never inspired anymore. Hopefully I can get it back.

On another note, I think I just moved out of Kihei. I'm not quite sure, we'll see as the days go by. Where do I live now, you ask? WAIHE'E. It's kind of dissapointing, I'm totally not the "Wai Sai" or "Valley" type. Maybe I'll start taking daily trips up to Swinging Bridges. That might be cool...maybe. Hikings good excercise. So yeah if anything at least I'll be fit. Fuckkkkk, is that all I have to look forward to? Idk. I wanted to say "we'll see" again but I'm sick of that phrase. Sick of not knowing what's going on. Ughhhhh, grouchiness crawling back.

I'm kind of bummed I turned this into a kind of sad post. /: Oh well.
Shooties, I'm out.

Déterminé.

This I believe that each and everyone of us hold the key to our day. Our thoughts and feelings belong to us and only us. No one can change them except ourselves. This I believe that if you wake up in the morning ready for something great to happen, it will. This I believe you can find greatness in the ordinary. This I believe that happiness and excitement are created. This I believe that other people's moods and actions can affect you if and only if you let them. This I believe we allow other people's feelings, emotions, actions, reactions and everything in between control our own. This I believe to many of my own good moments, days, events have turned sour by others. This I believe if we let others control our feelings and let those feelings control how we will feel, act, or what we will do in any moment of time we've lost control over ourselves. This I believe that there are many moments in life where bad things will happen and cause an impact on you, but it is also my belief that we have a choice over what kind of impact it will take on us, on our day, and maybe even our lives. This I believe we let the small amount of bad and sad things in life over shadow the massive amounts of good and happy. This I believe negative things can be cast in a different light. And lastly, this I believe that optimism leads to drive and drive leads to success.

Just because January 1st passed doesn't mean I can't write a resolution.
So this year (and every year after that) I resolve to be optimistic, find greatness in the ordinary, and never to let bad, sad, hate or words like that over shadow the good, love, and happiness in my life.

Ding, dong, DITCH.

Yesterday I took an "education sabbatical." It was quite a refresher. (:
I wish I had some awesome story to tell about it, but honestly, I did nothing. But that was the beauty in it. I just cruised all day with a cool kiddo. I needed it. I mean it suckked that I didn't come to school 'cause now I'm probably getting a bunch of zeros from classes and have some extra work to catch up on but its all good in the end. I enjoyed it. I think it was even better since my phone was dying. I didn't feel the need to stay in contact with as many people as usual. Only those that were important to me. Well I guess a bunch of people just learned where they stand in my book. o.0 Ahaha.
Alright, class is pau and i'm out. Have a nice week!

When the words just flow.

Have you ever felt the need to write. Just a pure feeling where your brain is just throwing thoughts your way? Things that need to go from your brain to your hand and form some type of letter. Those letters transforming into syllables. Then into words and finally into thoughts. If you let your words flow freely who knows what you'll end up with. I feel like that, right now. I feel like 2 million and one words are bouncing through my head and they just need to get out. To form something a little more cohesive then a bunch of "ats, ums, thes, and whos." Sometimes it doesn't turn out how I'd like. Sometimes the words just don't flow correctly. I hate that but I love to write. Write, write, w r i t e. About anything, about nothing, even about writing itself.

Four Even.

Ink to paper. The clean, white, fresh paper has been defaced, maybe you can even call it vandalism. Is all vandalism bad? This one seems quite thought provoking. My thoughts are memorizing. Blank papers can be both restricting and freeing; a blessing and a curse? I have no idea what to write although I can write about anything. Anything. Everything. Nothing. I've got nothing to say although I've got lots of thoughts. Why do my words freeze in the back of my throat. Slide back down to the pits of my stomach with my spit. Then other times I word vomit. Say things I wish I could grab out of the air, shove back in my mouth, and swallow, but that's not possible. Oh how many times I wished it was. Word restriction, word vomit; I wish I could control my words. That's why I love writing, I think. Nothing on paper isn't erasable, crossoutable, manageable. Everything put down can be easily taken back, thrown away. Never to be seen. Writing, writing keeps me sane. Does it ever seem like sanity can make you insane? The fact that I write to be sane, seems crazy. Whatever, it's all a perspective. Perspective now that's something new. I wonder who perceived the idea of perception. The idea that others see differently. Thus, nothing is the same. Quite amazing if you ask me. But you didn't, did you? Because you don't exist. You're a personification, a figment of my imagination.

I think I'm going to like my creative writing class! (:

Let The Count Down Begin.

"I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. They come from ahead and they come from behind. But I've bought a big bat, I'm all ready you see. Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!"

Isn't Dr. Seuss just ahhhhmazin'? I think yes.

I don't really have any big "troubles" at le moment, I just truly like this quote.

Annnnayways, yesterday was the first day of school. It was cruise, very cruise. The day went by pretty fast and I'm kinda excited for this year. Being in school is better then I thought it was gonna be. I'm trying to be excited for each day because I feel like if I wake up in the morning and don't complain about having to come to school (since no amount of complaining can change that) then I'll probably have a better day. I guess its a mind over matter kind of thing. Sooooo with 84 more days left in school I'm starting this quarter with this new way of thinking. I'm thinking it will do me lots and lots of good and just make the rest of my senior year pretty darn amazing. (:

On the other hand, I'm feeling quite stressed when it comes to this whole college thing. I keep pushing it off to the side 'cause I really, really don't wanna even think about it yet. "College isn't everything" according to my grandpa. I've already got two acceptences and I'm still waiting to hear from UH Manoa but I don't know what I'm gonna do. I've gotta a lot of decisions to make but one things for sure when I graduate I'm getting off this island, even if only for a vacation!

This is how I see it.

Forgiveness is a chance to create divinity. Passion is vital. Everything is a gift. Baths are a magical refuge from the outside world. Sleep is a drug. When you're really enjoying something it doesn't matter how foolish you look. Parents are neurotic. I survive by my daily rituals. Music can heal. We have the ability to brighten any room we enter. Saying I love you has little to do with love. When I close my eyes I can drown out the world. Apologizing has the power to set you free. Quiet is precious. A smile can brighten your day. Fish are friends and food. Tears are cleansing. Appreciate those who will hold your hand and never let go. School is important. Your eggs rest in your own basket. Drama is useless. A really good book changes you. Take life with a grain of salt. Afternoon naps are heavenly. About-face isn't just a military command. Dreams are more then dreams. Friends can restore your faith in humanity. Hugs are more then just hugs. Clouds can be whatever you want them to be. Be grateful for memories. Imagination is limitless. Family is precious. Be strong enough to fly away. We are all our own story tellers. Contentment is finding happiness in whatever life throws your way. Let go of the past and reach for the future. Chai tea is serenity in a cup. Women aren't damsels in distress. The moon is beautiful. Judges are the only ones who should judge. Holidays bring people closer. We all have a need for security. The ocean is my sanctuary. Don't be silenced. Make the most of every moment. The real world doesn't give extensions. Curiosity will unfold the world around you. Hope should be as natural as breathing. Don't let life's disappointments delude you. Home is a place to truly be yourself. Beauty exists in the eye of the beholder.

HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE!

Who wants to be a 5th grader?

I DO!
If it means never, ever having to leave Maui and you. :(

I love you ohhhhh so much.

<---- P.S. I love Charley Young Beach. I'm excited to go backkkk tomorrow! :D

Bullshizzzle.

Through everything, I love my boyfriend.
That's it. (:

'Cause I felt like...

posting something but I had nothing to post about.
So here is a random picture of something random, like Chuck Norris.

Oh, now I have something to talk about. YAY!

The other night me (along with all the Badayos' people) went to Kyle's house. Kyle's Britt's older brother. He's a cool kiddo! Except for he is not a kid. We were watching that movie with Chuck Norris in it, then we went swimming at his apartment place until like 9 o'clock at night. It was fun. (: We raced and I think either Brandy or Tanya lost, me and Britt tied for first. I tried to teach Brandy how to dive. It was quite funny! (:

This is a picture of us in the Jacuzzi. (:

Anyyways, now that I'm talking about Britt and her family. Today we went to the beach, the Cove to be exact. After I spent half the day tanning at Charley Young's. I'm pretty tanner now. It was fun. Brett was there. He's a cool kiddo around Brittney. Brittney tried to dig a hole and cover it to see if anyone would step in it but a dog just ran through it and ruined it all. It was fun to watch though. P.S. My boyfriend is cutesy even if he doesn't think so. (:

Whoooo, blogage. Thank you Chuck Norris for getting me started, I didn't know I had so much to write. Ahahaha. (: